For most people, family comes first. While a strong and supportive family can be amazing, a dysfunctional and draining one can be detrimental. How do you break up with family? First off, every family has it’s issues, just as each of us have our own. What needs to be identified is whether this is a co- dependent relationship or are you constantly feeling the burden and a deep desire to break the cycle. Perhaps you never felt like you fit in, or maybe you want to raise your kids with less stress or drama. It’s simple. Just be busy. There’s no need for a major blow up. No need for excuses—you can get some breathing room by simply finding other outlets that keep you occupied. It may sound impossible, especially if you are entrenched in your family drama on a daily basis. But by simply being busy with activities, you seek out separate from your family, and you will naturally find new relationships that may just be the supportive positive kind you need in your life.
It’s sweet that you’re still friends with your grade school best friend, but if you’ve grown in different directions and your values no longer align, that’s not enough of a reason to remain friends. Just because she’s been a friend for a long time doesn’t mean she’s good for you. Ask yourself if this friendship is still adding to your life. If it’s not, go ahead and break the ties. Unless this relationship brings you joy, you don’t need the drama. Depending on your approach, there may be an awkward conversation or two involved, but remember you need people in your life who are conducive to your happiness.
You drop the kids off at a school function, and once again there is a gaggle of moms who ignore you. Great! More time for you to spend with people you actually like. This theory that we all have to be friends is a total bust. Life doesn’t work that way. Be thankful you aren’t spending time with those people. You should only seek out friends who are super excited to see you, that make you laugh and who are kind. No need to be in with the in crowd—this isn’t high school, it’s life.
If at any time there’s a family member, friend, neighbor, or otherwise make you feel stressed when you see them, or causes you angst—cut the fat! It’s time to clear the clutter in your head, break up with your frenemies, and put an end to toxic relationships. Life is too damn short to spend it with people who use you for a dumping ground, make you feel like you’re in a competition or have you feeling exhausted after every interaction. While it may seem harmless, it is anything but.
The relationships you should preserve are those that strengthen you, the ones that make you want to be a great person, and those that bring joy and hopefully a lot of laughter to your life. Aim to be surrounded by kindness and encouragement. In order to do that, you need to remove the old (remember it doesn’t have to be a dramatic proclamation just a conscious decision) and make room for new relationships that will feed your soul. Life’s too short to spend with people you don’t like, so don’t.